This fib was created by my buddy Isiah.

And I've got just one question.

Why do daddies always gotta take the blame, hmmm?

I'm a daddy.

I didn't do it.

O.K. I did do it.

Doug appears to have a dilemma on his hands.

BROCCOLI vs.
CANDY CANE.

On the one hand, you've got your candy cane. Which, as the name implies, is a cane made entirely of candy. So its got that going for it. Unfortunately it tastes like toothpaste. On the other hand, you've got broccoli. Which makes you feel like a ginormous Godzilla eating a tiny tree.

I'll be casting my vote for broccoli.

At the end of the  letter, these guys joined the knights, drew marker on their face and threw macaroni.

Hopefully the part about really liking the book wasn't a fib too!

It's not your belly that's big. It's all that fur.

You're not fat, you're just big bone-ded.

And big fur-ded.

Mustaches… now we're talking.

If you put them all on at once, they'll make a beard. A large, large beard.

Doug meets Darth. Looks like Darth is winning. Doug… I am not your father. I am Luke's father. Stop following me around.

Somehow Doug-Dennis has turned into some sort of reggae queen. Which is probably way cooler than being a disco queen.

Your shoe bill must be so expensive. I feel sorry for your mother.

Also, you're probably disqualified from track meets, so you'll never earn back all that shoe money by winning an olympic gold. Sorry.

Snacks on your head is better than snakes on your plane. What sort of snacks are on your head? Wasabi peas? Cheetos? Peanut Butter and Jelly on Graham Crackers with Cheddar Cheese? Those are my favorites.

Whoa. 100 toilets. You must have a big house. Unless all the toilets are in one room and it's like one big toilet and then you can pee anywhere you want and it will still land in a toilet. That'd be cool.